In the "Crazy-Wise" process that Adi Da sometimes engaged His devotees for the sake of their growth in practice, all kinds of unusual, often spontaneous events took place. What I am about to describe is one such occasion that occurred when I was visiting the island of Adi Da Samrajashram on a retreat in late 1993.

Hymns To Me

The evening I arrived, Adi Da was in the midst of gathering with the devotee residents of the island in Hymns To Me (one of the Halls in which Adi Da held gatherings). I was invited to the gathering too. Shortly before I arrived at the gathering, a female devotee (who was on retreat, like me) — I'll call her Susan, to protect her privacy — had begun acting out in a rather dramatic way.

An attractive woman in her twenties, Susan had said to Adi Da, "I want to fuck all the men on the island!"

In His Crazy-Wise manner, our Beloved Guru turned Susan's dramatization into a "teachable moment" for both Susan herself, and for all the residents at Adi Da Samrajashram, particularly the male residents.

At the time, all residents of Adi Da Samrajashram, male and female, engaged in a celibate renunciate practice relative to sexuality. After much experimentation with devotees for many years, Adi Da had concluded that most devotees were not able to spiritually commune with Him effectively and consistently while having an intimate partner. So it became a requirement that, if you wanted to be a resident on the island serving Him directly for a number of years, you needed to be able to maintain a long-term celibate renunciate practice, without problem.

Now back to Adi Da and Susan, who wanted to fuck all the men on the island.

Adi Da had been considering this with Susan and the residents for some time before I arrived. And then, shortly after I arrived and sat down, He spontaneously created His "teachable moment".

He looked at Susan. Then He looked at the men sitting before Him (which now included me). "Which man is going to dance with Susan? Who is going to dance with her without thoughts of sex. . . simply Happy in Me, no thoughts, just dancing for Happiness?"

There was absolute silence.

Most of the men sitting there were celibate renunciate residents living on Adi Da Samrajashram. They knew this moment was a profound test of their practice, and anyone who tried and failed might be asked to leave the island. Perhaps that was not likely, but it always was a possibility, since it did happen now and then. Hence the silence.

But I had a bit of an advantage: I had only just arrived. I was completely ignorant of the source of the silence, or everything that had transpired before my arrival, including what Susan had said. (I only found out about all that much later.)

I also had dropped my conceptual mind before arriving at the gathering, in preparation for being in Adi Da's Company. (I'll say much more about this in a later chapter.) I had no thoughts, and was steeped in my Beloved Guru's Happiness; and — from that thoughtless place — Adi Da's proposal felt simple enough.

So, without thinking, I spoke up: "I will, Lord!"

Adi Da instantly pointed me and Susan toward the "dance floor" (the open space in the middle of the large room). The devotee serving as the "DJ" turned on some upbeat pop-rock music, and we started dancing.

So "I" danced with Susan the way "I" played the piano at Club Rat: I had let Adi Da play me then. I let Adi Da dance me now. It felt like one long, extended mudra, where "I" wasn't "doing" anything — I was being lived, I was being animated, my body was being danced.

I was incredibly happy. Susan was incredibly happy. Even though Adi Da's Instruction had overtly been for the man who would dance with her, it was clear that Susan had given herself over to His Instruction as well. She had completely transitioned from "I want to fuck every man on the island" to simply being happy. We were being happy together, being danced together as a single Divine event, with no separation between us or anything, with the togetherness naturally, mindlessly magnifying our happiness. And we were being happy together in Adi Da, in His Radiant Field of Love-Bliss. He was the All-Pervading Source of that Happiness. He was that Happiness, and He was dancing us.

Dancing for Happiness without thinking
(with "cheerleading" support from my friend, Aniello, right).
(I've blurred Susan's face to protect her privacy.)

There was no problem for me because I had already dropped the conceptual mind before entering the gathering room with Adi Da.

It's the conceptual mind that thinks sexual thoughts when looking at an attractive woman.

It's the conceptual mind that worries whether you are going to think sexual thoughts when you dance with an attractive woman.

It's the conceptual mind that worries whether Beloved Adi Da was going to kick you off the island if you fail His Test, or in my case (not being a resident), worries whether Beloved Adi Da will be disappointed in you if you fail His Test.

Because I had already dropped the conceptual mind, I wasn't troubled by any of that! Instead, my head (and my entire body) was dissolving in His Bliss. And of course this was why Adi Da had insisted that the dancing be with "no thoughts".

There was just the perceptual mind — one is just the body — aware of (and immersed in) Adi Da's Infinite Radiant Field of Love-Bliss. From this place, everything is a non-dual continuity, with no conceptual separations between people, objects, etc. And movements are like a perpetual mudra: there was no internal thought directing my movements. A Greater Intelligence is at work, Living and Moving all:

I simply was moved, we were moved, by the One Who was Living us and all beings, who also happened to be sitting in the same room, Living His human form. That human form was seemingly engaged in conversation with someone else (as you can see in the pictures above), but He was completely aware of us, and Living and Moving us.[1]

Eventually the conceptual mind does re-appear at some point, but that's no big deal. Once the capability to drop the conceptual mind has developed, it can easily be dropped again at any time.

And so, probably after about five minutes or so, a single thought finally did enter my mind. It was a random thought, about what dance step I should do next. (And completely unnecessary, because I'd been dancing mindlessly, letting Adi Da dance me.)

Instantly, Adi Da's booming Voice, full of humor, shot across the room to me:

NO THINKING!!!

And instantly, His Calling — and the blast of Divine Transmission that accompanied It — dissolved my conceptual mind again.

Then He danced us for another five minutes or so, with us immersed in His Happiness, and no further thought in my mind, until the music came to an end, and we sat down and re-joined the gathering.

* * *

I always laugh heartily whenever I remember Adi Da's Shout: NO THINKING! There was literally no time whatsoever between when the thought popped into my mind, and when His Shout reached me. You could say, "He read my mind" — that was true enough, but doesn't quite capture it. A better (and truer) characterization of what occurred would be: He is me.

* * *

Looking back, it's interesting to me that, after we did what Adi Da had called for and sat down again, He never mentioned it again. The moment had served its purpose. As I consider many other occasions where He had called for devotees to do something, and they had tried but were not able to do it, He would turn that "failure" into a extended consideration about practice. But when He called us to do something and we did do it, it was simply "right life", and no big deal — like Him asking us to eat a raw meal, and our just doing it. Being able to set aside the conceptual mind is an early step in the listening/hearing process (the first major period of practice), so it is, in Adi Da's view, an expected, early element of Adidam "right life".

* * *

Because, through Avatar Adi Da's Grace, I did develop the capability to set aside the conceptual mind, I'll "pass the Prasad", and say a little more about this in a separate chapter, to emphasize that it is very possible (especially for devotees of Adi Da), and to encourage others to do the same. And this clearly was why Adi Da asked that someone get up and demonstrate it: to show that it is possible and to inspire everyone to do it.

Part I, Chapter 17

FOOTNOTES

[1]		I had experienced that Greater Intelligence Living and Moving me on other occasions, some of which I have described in earlier chapters, including: when I was saved from a car accident when a Greater Intelligence took over; and when I let that Greater Intelligence — which I now knew to be Beloved Adi Da — take over playing the piano in Club Rat. Both of these incidents also coincided with the dropping of the conceptual mind (which otherwise would have gotten in the way).

Part I, Chapter 17