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The Wound Of Love
The following passage is Avatar Adi Da's most direct
and impassioned summary of the resolution of the emotional-sexual
being and of the nature and ordeal of Love.
Note: In this text, Adi Da uses an unconventional
scheme for capitalizing words. For more about the very specific
significance of this capitalization scheme, read our article, Transcendental Orthography
as a Teaching Device.
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is (By Virtue
Of his or her bodily human History, self-Idea, and Lack Of Spiritual,
Transcendental, and Divine Realization) Chronically Bound To The
Ritual Of Rejection. The emotional (or emotional-sexual) Career
Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A Chronic Complaint That Always
Says, By Countless Means, "You Do Not Love me." This Abusive Complaint
Is, Itself, The Means Whereby the egoic individual Constantly
Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject, Avoid, or
Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More Than A Complaint.
It Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying and Precious
Idea That "I" Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of Retaliation (Whereby
others Are Punished For Not Sufficiently Adoring, pleasurizing,
and Immortalizing the Precious ego-"I").
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is Chronically and
Reactively Contracted From all of its relations. Fear Is The Root
Of this self-Contraction, and The Conceived Purpose Of this self-Contraction
Is self-Preservation, and Even self-Glorification. Indeed, Fear
is the self-Contraction. The self-Contraction (or the ego-"I")
is The Root-Action (or Primal Mood) That Is Fear. Therefore,
All Of The self-Preserving, self-Glorifying, and other-Punishing
Efforts Of the ego-"I" (or the self-Contracted body-mind) Only Preserve,
Glorify, and Intensify Fear Itself.
Fear, the ego-"I", Un-Love, or The Total Ritual Of self-Contraction
Must Be Understood and Transcended. All Of Fear, egoity, self-Contraction,
or Un-Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only Destructive. And It Is
Entirely Un-Necessary.
Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically
Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The Communication
Of The Dominant Idea "You Do Not Love me". Once This Is (In The
"Radical" Way Of The Heart) Truly, and Completely, and Most Fundamentally
Understood, Then The Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity, self-Contraction,
or Un-Love Can (Always) Be Directly Transcended. Therefore (In The
Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart), Fear,
egoity, self-Contraction, or Chronic Un-Love Is To Be Summarily
Replaced By The Discipline and Practice Of ego-Transcending Devotional
and (In Due Course) Spiritual Heart-Communion With Me, and (Subsequent,
or To-Me-Responsive) Heart-Magnification Of My Avatarically Self-Revealed
(and Self-Evidently Divine) Love-Bliss, In The Heart-Communicated
Form "I Love You".
In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way and Manner Of
The Heart, My Devotees Understand Separate and Separative self
(As Un-Love) and Transcend Separate and Separative self (By Love).
And This Is Perfected (Progressively, In The Way and Manner Of
The Heart) By Devotional (or ego-Transcending and ego-Forgetting)
Heart-Surrender Of the conditional body-mind To My Avatarically-Born
Bodily (Human) Divine Form, and My Avatarically Self-Transmitted
Spiritual (and Always Blessing) Divine Presence, and My Avatarically
Self-Revealed (and Very, and Transcendental, and Perfectly Subjective,
and Inherently Spiritual, and Inherently egoless, and Inherently
Perfect, and Self-Evidently Divine) State.
If You Will Thus Be Love (By This Devotion
To Me), You Must Also Constantly Encounter, Understand, and
Transcend The Rejection Rituals Of others who Are (Even If Temporarily
or Only Apparently) Bereft Of Divine Wisdom. Therefore, If You Will
Be Love (As My Devotee), You Must (In The Way and
Manner Of The Heart) Always Skillfully Transcend The Tendency To
Become Un-Love (and, Thus, To Become self-Bound, Apparently Divorced
From Heart-Communion With Me) In Reaction To The Apparent Lovelessness
Of others. And You Must Not Withdraw From Heart-Communion With Me
(or Become Degraded By Reactive Un-Love) Even When Circumstances
Within Your intimate Sphere (or Within The Sphere Of Your Appropriate
social Responsibility) Require You To Make Difficult Gestures To
Counter and Control the effects (or Undermine and Discipline The
Negative and Destructive Effectiveness) Of The Rituals Of Un-Love
That Are Performed By others.
For those who Are Committed To Love (and who, Therefore,
Always Commune With Me, The One Who Is Love-Bliss Itself),
Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted As A Wound,
Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved
Is A Wound. And Even The Fullest Realization Of My Love-Bliss
Is A Wound That Never Heals.
The egoic Ritual Calls every individual To Defend
himself or herself Against The Wounds Of Love and The Wounding Signs
Of Un-Love (or egoic self-Contraction) In the daily world. Therefore,
. . . The Tendency (Apart From Spiritual Responsibility)
Is To Act As If Every Wound (Which Is Simply A Hurt) Is An Insult
(or A Reason To Punish). In The Only-By-Me
Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart, The Reactive Rituals
Of egoity Must Be Released By The ego-Transcending (and, In Due
Course, Spiritually Activated) Practice Of Devotion To Me. This
Requires Each and Every Practitioner Of The "Radical" Way Of The
Heart To Observe, Understand, and Relinquish The emotionally Reactive
Cycle Of Rejection and Punishment. And The Necessary Prerequisites
For Such Relinquishment Are Vulnerability (or The Ability To Feel
The Wounds Of Love Without Retaliation), Sensitivity To the other
In Love (or The Ability To Sympathetically Observe, Understand,
Forgive, Love, and Not Punish or Dissociate From the other In Love),
and Love Itself (or The Ability To Love, To Know You Are Loved,
To Receive Love, and To Know That Both You and the other, Regardless
Of Any Appearance To The Contrary, Are Vulnerable To Love and Heart-Requiring
Of Love).
It Is Not Necessary (or Even Possible) To Become Immune
To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Become Thus Immune, You Would
Have To Become Immune To Love Itself. What Is Necessary (and Also
Possible) Is To Enter Fully (and Fully Devotionally) Into The
Spiritual Life-Sphere Of Love. In The Only-By-Me Revealed and
Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart, This Is Done By First Entering
(Devotionally, and, Thus, By Heart) Into My Humanly-Incarnated
Divine Spiritual Company, and (Therein) Surrendering To My Divine
Spiritual "Embrace" Of Love-Bliss —
Wherein You Are Not Merely Loved As a self-Contracted ego-"I",
but You Are (To The Degree That, By Means Of My Avatarically Self-Transmitted
Divine Spiritual Grace, the ego-"I" Is Surrendered, Forgotten,
and Transcended In Me) Awakened To Be (and To Show) Love-Bliss
Itself. Then You Must, Through Life-Active Devotion To Me, Allow
The Demonstration Of My Own Love-Bliss-Radiance In the world of
Your human relationships.
If You Will Do This, Then You Must Do The Sadhana
(or Concentrated Practice) Of True Devotion To Me, Active Love Of
one another, and Real (True, Mutual, and Steady) Trust. As A Practical
Matter, You Must Stop Dramatizing The egoic Ritual Of Betrayal In
Reaction To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. You Must Understand,
Transcend, and Release The Tendency To Respond (or React) To Signs
Of Rejection (or Signs That You Are Not Loved) As If You Are Insulted,
Rather Than Wounded. That Is To Say, You Must Stop Punishing and
Rejecting others When You Feel Rejected. If You Punish another When
You Feel This, You Will Act As If You Are Immune To Love's Wound.
Thus, You Will Pretend To Be Angrily Insulted, Rather Than Suffer
To Be Wounded. In The Process, You Will Withdraw and Withhold Love.
You Will Stand Off, Independent and Dissociated. You Will Only Reinforce
The Feeling Of Being Rejected, and You Will Compound It By Actually
Rejecting the other. In This Manner, You Will Become Un-Love.
You Will Fail To Love. You Will Fail To Live In The Sphere Of Love.
Your Own Acts Of Un-Love Will Degrade You, Delude You, and (Ultimately)
Separate You From My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Love-Bliss
Itself. Therefore, one who Fails To Practice The Sadhana Of Love
In his or her human relationships Will, By That Failure, Turn Away
(or Contract) From Real (Acausal) God (or The Divine Self-Condition,
and Source-Condition, That Is Reality Itself).
Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed
or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray,
and Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If
You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me —
Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded,
When Necessary — and
Endure That Wound (or Hurt). Do Not Punish the other In Love.
Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another —
but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant
one another The Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants
To Love and To Be Loved By the other In Love. Therefore, Love.
Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort To Get Rid Of The Feeling
Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel The Hurt Of Not
Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become The Feeling
Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable, and (Thus) Not Insulted. If You
Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's
Requirement) Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity
(or The Heart's Requirement) To Love.
The Habit Of Reacting To Apparent Rejection (By
others) As If It Were An Insult Always Coincides With (and Only
Reveals) The Habit Of Rejecting (or Not Loving) others. Any one
whose Habitual Tendency Is To Reject and Not Love others (In The
Face Of their Apparent Acts Of Rejection and Un-Love) Will Tend
To Reject and Not Love others Even When they Are Only Loving. Narcissus
— The Personification
Of the ego, the self-Contraction, or The Complex Avoidance Of Relationship
— Is Famous For his
Rejection Of The Lady, Echo (who Only Loved him). Therefore, If
You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See
Me — Be Vulnerable
In Love. If You Remain Vulnerable In Love, You Will Still Feel Love's
Wound, but You Will Remain In Love. In This Manner, You Will Always
Remain In The human (and, Ultimately, Divine) Sphere Of My Avatarically
Self-Transmitted Person Of Love-Bliss.The
Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To Be Love
In every moment. Do This By Means Of Devotional (and, In Due Course,
Spiritual) Communion With Me. If You Always Do This (moment to moment)
Devotional (and, In Due Course, Spiritual) Communion With Me, Then,
By Means Of Every Act Of life, You Will Always (moment to moment)
Do What and As You Are In Devotional (and,
In Due Course, Spiritual) Communion With Me.
In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The
Heart (or Way Of Adidam), My Rightly Practicing Devotee Is (and
Remains) Always Founded In The moment to moment Capability Of
Love, By Means (and By Virtue) Of his or her Constant Devotional
(and, As The Case May Be, Spiritual) Heart-Communion With Me.
Therefore, If any such a one Fails To Be Steady In Heart-Communion
With Me, Then he or she Will Become Weak In Love. And To Be Weak
In Love (In The Context Of Any Stage Of Life) Is To Be Always
Already Independent, Insulted, Empty With Craving, In Search Of
Love, Manipulative, Un-Happy, and Moved To Punish, Betray, and
Destroy all relationships. Such a Weak one Always Already Feels
Rejected and Is Never Satisfied. Indeed, such a one Is Not Even
Found To Be Truly Lovable By others. Therefore, By Always Surrendering
self-Contraction (By Means Of True Devotional, and, In Due Course,
Spiritual, Communion With Me), Be Always Only Sudden Love In Every
Act Of life.
By Actively egoically Not Loving (or By Actively
egoically Disliking, Actively egoically Rejecting, Actively egoically
Hating, or, In Any Manner, Actively egoically Un-Loving) what
and whom You (egoically) Do Not Love, You Mutilate (and,
Effectively, Destroy) Your Own psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted
body-mind). Likewise, By their Actively egoically Not Loving You,
every what or who (In The self-Contracted, or egoic, Manner) Does
Not Love You Cannot but Mutilate (and, Effectively, Destroy) its
own (or his or her own) psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted body-mind).
Understand This. Activate Your lifetime On The Basis Of This Twofold
Understanding. Thoroughly (and Most Fundamentally) Understand Your
ego-"I", and (By The Really and Truly Effective Counter-egoic Means
I Reveal and Give To You, and To every one and all), Actively (Constantly),
and In The ego-Transcending Manner, Love each and every thing and
one — In Me.
Always Actively Be My True Devotee —
Always Actively Heart-Radiating (Through and Beyond all
self-Contraction) To Me —
Even (Thus and Thereby) Allowing Your Own (and entire) body-mind
To Be "Brightened" In (and By) Me. Therefore, Do Not Do Fear,
Sorrow, Anger, or Even Any Kind Of Un-Love In egoic (or self-Contracted,
or Heart-Contracted) Reaction To any thing or any one that Actively
(or, Otherwise, Apparently) Does Not Love You —
but Only (Actively, and Constantly) Do Love.
Always Do This Love-Sadhana (or Discipline and "Radical" Way Of
The Heart), By Actively Abiding In Constant ego-Surrendering,
ego-Forgetting, and ego-Transcending Devotional and (In Due Course)
Spiritual Heart-Communion With Me —
Always Yielding The Four Principal Faculties (Of attention,
sense-body, emotion, and breath) In Heart-Yielding Love-Response
To My Avatarically Humanly Incarnated (and Inherently Spiritually
"Bright") Attractiveness —
For I Am The Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine
Spiritual Presence That Is Ever-Present (Even To Every
Heart) As The Always Already Spiritually "Bright" (Self-Existing
and Self-Radiant) Divine Person Of Love-Bliss-Being (or Conscious
Light) Itself.
Those who Love Are Love, and others Inevitably Love
them. Those who Seek For Love Are Not themselves Active Love,
and So they Do Not Find It. (And, Even If they Are Loved, they
Do Not Get The Knowledge Of It.) Only The Lover Is Lovable. Therefore,
I Call and "Brighten" Every Heart To Be As True Love Is.
And My Every Listening Devotee, My Every Hearing Devotee, and
My Every Seeing Devotee Is (By Me) Gifted and (By Means Of My
Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spiritual Grace) Enabled
To Realize (and, Thus, To Really and Truly Demonstrate) This Radiant
(and Radiating) Principle (and Way) Of The Heart —
By Means Of True Active (and Freely, Deeply Attracted) Devotional
(and Really ego-Transcending) Love Of Me (and With Real, True
Trust In Me), The One Who Is (Self-Existing) As
Self-Radiant Love-Bliss (or The "Bright") Itself.
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