Divine Love Heals Everything

Dennis Bumstead

Dennis Bumstead has been a devotee of Adi Da since 1984. He received his B.A. in Economics and Sociology from the University of Cambridge in 1966, and his Ph.D. in Social Psychology and Management from the MIT Sloan School of Management in 1975. He went on to a distinguished career that included a professorship at Antioch University and a position as Senior Human Resource Specialist at the World Bank. After retiring, his heart's passion has been to bring Adi Da's Wisdom from Not-Two Is Peace to the world, to help initiate the creation of a Global Cooperative Forum. He has also been an advisor for The Dawn Horse Press, the primary publisher of Adi Da's books, CD's, and DVD's.

I became a devotee in London in 1984. Beloved Adi Da had moved to Fiji, the other side of the world. I first saw Beloved Adi Da's Bodily (human) Form both in London and at Maria Hoop during His 1986 Yajna of Penance. His Divine Presence invited devotees into retreats in His Company in California in 1989 and then at Adi Da Samrajashram in 1990. In late May 1992, I set out for the Island for a month of retreat.

The summer was a time of much gathering and high drama in the Hermitage Ashram. Beloved Adi Da danced with His devotees — Teaching, Blessing — in Play with His Ruchiradamas, Bramacharinis, Island residents, retreatants, and the cosmos. Beloved Adi Da was gathering nightly with the residents in intense consideration, side-splitting laughter, opera, dancing all night long, and, quite frequently, hugs and kisses between the Master and His devotees. In the swoon of His Island, I too longed to be in the arms of my Beloved.

The retreatants lived the daily schedule of devotional life, while the residents were up all night with Beloved. We ran into them at five o'clock in the morning while we were going to meditation and they were drifting out of Hymns To Me after another long and wondrous night with His Divine Presence.

Hymns To Me

One morning I stood in the early light, speaking with an English friend about the sublimity of the gatherings. He spoke of how Beloved was embracing many devotees, and even though our retreat was brilliant and kept breaking out of its schedule into a variety of ecstatic, praise-filled Darshan encounters with Beloved, we were longing to be closer to Him. We prayed to be invited to a gathering, and composed letters to His Divine Presence suggesting He invite us. Our letters did not make it into the hands of His Divine Presence, but our prayers were heard by His Great Heart.

One day in June, we were formally walking together out to the Matrix. We were chanting, with the lead man carrying a banner, as all retreatants did at that time. A devotee came up to us in a truck and told us to run back to the village, change our clothes, and get to Hymns To Me to gather with Adi Da Samraj.

This was the first time retreatants had been invited to a gathering, and there was some apprehension. Beloved took His seat, and He began the event by asking how things were going with the Adidam mission. Unfortunately, no one was prepared with any good news for the Master. Someone Said, "Not too well, my Lord", and there was a shiver in the room as we feared that the gathering might be over before it began. Devotees jumped in with praise and the crisis passed.

I was sitting on the floor just in front of His Divine Presence, and I began to speak overflowing praise to Beloved, which many of us had done at Darshan occasions. I praised the retreat, all His Gifts, my intimate in Marin, my children in England. Then my heart spoke the longing that had been building during these weeks. I leaned forward and said, "Beloved, can I kiss You?" His Divine Presence looked at me and Said, "Hmm, OF COURSE!", with such loudness and force, as if to make it completely clear that I had just asked the most obvious and appropriate question imaginable.

I fell into His arms and He completely embraced me. We were kissing and hugging one another, and I told Him over and over how much I loved Him. I praised Him more and more, kissing His lips, face, neck, shoulder. It was an incomparable encounter, one that could never happen with anyone except Avatar Adi Da.

Eventually He released me and I prostrated before Him. The evening rolled on, with many encounters between the Master and His devotees. There were embraces and some fierce Talk to some, the Master always joyfully Loving and Serving everyone's heart freedom. His Divine Presence had a beautiful, heartbreaking interaction with Elizabeth Lowe, a devotee who was a holocaust survivor. It was a remarkable exchange where He was obviously doing healing Work with that horrific event. There were many riotous jokes, and then Adi Da conducted us on to the delights of singing opera with Him and then dancing with Him to pounding rock music. It was another world, of pure Happiness.

It was a most tangible connection to His Divine Love that Adi Da Granted me that night, just delicious. Beloved Adi Da opened my heart as wide as it could be. The next night He Lovingly and humorously pushed me further.

It was what Beloved came to call a "null and void" day. Retreatants exchanged Leelas and wandered around in a daze of adoration for the Master. It seemed there might be yet another gathering, and we helped prepare for it, but it turned out to be only for residents. We were disappointed, and I felt that familiar childhood betrayal. I knew this was a test, that the Guru was purifying the remnants of my early life.

We went to bed. We were awakened by Jeff Hughes hammering on the door, yelling, “Your Guru is outside. Get up you sons of bitches. Never mind dressing — run!” Beloved Adi Da had ended the gathering early, around 3:30 am, and had stopped His car outside the dorm, asking to see retreatants. I grabbed a towel and ran outside.

Beloved was sitting with the window down, with His left shoulder facing us. As I ran towards Him, He extended His left hand to me. I took it and kissed it and kissed His shoulder again. I see that scene now in slow motion, because just as my lips landed on His beautiful shoulder again, Beloved Adi Da saw Elizabeth and He Called out her name. My childish heart contracted as if I were experiencing all the betrayals I had ever experienced.

In the brief, mad scene around His Divine Presence, many of us were touching Him. He Said, "There is no need to be afraid." Then He said, "I'm going back to Da Avabhasa Chakra [Adi Da's residence] to get some rest." And finally, breaking every heart, His Divine Presence Graced us with a most beautiful Blessing that He had often Spoken at the end of a gathering, "Goodnight, My babies", and He was gone.

I stood there in the night, feeling every betrayal I had ever experienced. Wanting to repeat the delights of the previous night, I had stepped onto the elevator, but there is no floor in the Guru's Heart of Infinite compassion, and I fell to the depths. I was stunned. I wandered around in the dark, feeling afraid of these strange overwhelming feelings. How could I be feeling betrayal, when I had just been hugging and kissing my Beloved again? The Guru was continuing to Work a great purification in my heart.

Eventually I did go back to bed, with what seemed like a giant weight sitting on my chest. I drifted off to sleep, and a few hours later, I woke with an explosion of bright golden delight bursting out of my heart. I felt nothing but love. I wandered round embracing other devotees in the dorm, declaring my undying love for everyone. I vowed to deeply and actively love my intimate by kissing her feet as soon as I saw her at the airport after my return flight.

Adi Da Gave me the Greatest Lesson a human being can be Given: Divine Love Heals everything. The Love of His Divine Presence is Always Already, eternally Healing. There truly is no need to be afraid, but we must feel everything, pleasurable and painful, without limitation.

The Healing that His Divine Presence Offers does not come to an end. He Said He could not kiss all human beings on the lips, but He is always embracing every single one through the Gift of His Transcendental Spiritual Presence. And we have the joyous responsibility to share His Gifts as widely as can be. I kissed my intimate's feet at the airport.

Beloved, Your Eternal Gifts are Unspeakable. I bow at Your Holy Feet.

Dennis asks Adi Da a question in this video clip.

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