Always Already Free
Natalja T.
The
author is a devotee who was serving the creation of Adi Da's Image-Art
on Adi
Da Samrajashram, Fiji, at the time of Adi Da's Divine Mahasamadhi.
It has been a little over two weeks since the passing beyond the
body of the Great Realizer and Spiritual Master, Adi Da Samraj.
It is an incredibly significant event for a Realizer of any 'degree'
to take Mahasamadhi, so Bhagavan's would be no less than Miraculous
and Bright.
There were a number of signs in His Image-Art, as well as spoken
verbals, leading up to the moment in which He passed out of the
body, which in hindsight appear rather mysteriously perfect and
obvious now.
I remember the day, 27 November 2008, with great clarity.
Around 3 in the afternoon a silent thickness befell the air; the
strong feeling of an invisible 'wave' sifting through space, like
a massive hand pouring forth water, drowning every particle in a
sea of Stillness. At 5:05pm when Adi Da dropped the body, there
was no struggle. It was so fast and spontaneous — no different from
the manner in which He had moved and worked throughout His human
lifetime... Very straightforward, no hesitation, no attachment and
with an Intention that can only stem from the Source. One moment
He was sitting in His chair in Picture Perfect, and the next . . .
gone beyond. His body fell over gently and silently, followed by
the faint sound of the body's last breath. No attachment, no resistance,
no loss. "Always Already Free" — to use His language.
Bhagavan had prepared us for this Moment in more ways than one,
from the very beginning of His gathering with devotees. Yet it was
incredibly surreal... The way in which Nature and the elements responded,
for example, and the immensity, profundity of human emotion unleashed
through the heart.
The Force of His dropping of the body literally opened a hole through
time and space . . . The air became so incredibly still it felt as
if the atomic structure of things could break by a single breath.
For at least the first two hours after His leaving the body, there
were tremendous dome-like clouds that seemed to encircle the Island
with brilliant lightning, yet no thunder was heard. There was no
wind. The sensation of being lifted and held by one long extended
exhalation. To those of us who were here, this was incredibly intense
and significant. Silence, stillness, peace.
There was a mourning for the absence of the animated body, yet
it is so incredibly mind-blowing and heart-breaking to feel no difference
in the Relationship. His Divine Presence feels magnified, even set
free of the limitation of mortal flesh. Instead of receiving His
human glances, hand gestures and spoken sounds . . . the wind, rain,
sunlight, insects, birds — everything — became the outward form
of Divine Expression. Even devotees who become immersed in profoundest
Contemplation are the Sign of It. A Brightness swooned over the
entire Hermitage Ashram island, and Swoons.
Still, there would be a natural flux of human emotion flowing for
days after the moment of Mahasamadhi . . . especially as devotees,
friends and people moved by the Great Sage continue to arrive from
around the world to pay respect to the Beloved Master — each with
a unique story of the spiritually-liberating wealth Parama Sapta
Na unconditionally and ceaselessly Grants to all.
In the days of the Vigil and in the days following the interment
of His body, my heart would be overcome with deepest gratitude for
having been brought to serve my Beloved Bhagavan. Even if it was
a relatively brief moment of time, it was lifetimes of sadhana and
an eternal yoking to the Heart. When memories of this life's journey
of coming to His Feet began to flood to the surface of mind, I would
collapse in that deep feeling of gratitude. Now there is just resting
in gratitude.There is no sorrow by the standard definitions. It
is the strongest feeling of indebtedness to Love Itself.... a completely
inconsolable Love Wound. And Paradoxically Happy.
As days pass, the process of Understanding deepens and widens.
The constant profundity of grace, of clearly seeing with the whole
being what actually happens here — that nothing survives, that everything
is washed and set free — that only Consciousness, the Divine Reality,
Truth, the Prior Place of the Heart, The, That, It, the Source,
the Nameless One, Love — Only That Is Indestructible.
Everything else is just part of the cosmic theatre of conditional
domains . . . perpetually looping in pleasurizing vs suffering cycles,
entirely meaningless although beautiful and seemingly real . . . and
in the midst of this dying realm there is Only Life . . . despite apparent
want and searching for it, there is Only Love Divine . . .
True and Always Already Free.
RETURN TO:
ADI DA'S DIVINE
MAHASAMADHI
AND ADIDAM IN PERPETUITY
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