a child, I was never in any way religious, but I had an intuition that if God
existed, God was everything — the land, the sea, the sky, plants, creatures, all
people and the whole universe.
I would pray to God when I was in danger
and I would talk to God when I walked home from school. So I related to God as
a being, a "someone." In my late teens, I heard a little about Buddhism and the
Buddhist philosophy that everything is one. This interested me, as it was how
I intuited God. Even so, I wasn't about to become religious, as I had other agendas
in life — like having fun!
1998 was the most incredible year of my life
— the year that changed everything for me. I remember walking in the beautiful
countryside of North Wales, thinking of how I had noticed apparent "laws" in life.
I had heard about karma, or cause and effect. Because of my experiences, it seemed
obvious to me that this was true.
I had also noticed how ideas, dreams
and desires that I thought about a lot would become my experience, sometimes within
a few weeks, and sometimes years later. The "law" that what you thought about
became your experience also seemed true to me.
I thought how life was not
some unconscious "thing," just going along until death, as most people I knew
seemed to think. I was convinced there were laws involved in life — and I asked
myself, "How many more hidden laws are there? And what are they?" I thought that
there must be someone out there who knows. So I asked God for a teacher,
someone who could show me the laws of life.
From that moment on, even though
I was not aware of it at the time, I was being prepared for the greatest moment
of my life — I was on an express journey through experiences and revelations that
would get me ready to receive the most mind-blowing and wonderful gift.
the summer of that year, I began reading a number of different books with different
ideas about reality — books on shamanism, the charkas, horoscopes, the I-Ching,
etc. I noticed how at the core of their meaning all the books seemed to be pointing
in one direction — to the source, being, the true self, the one.
then given a book called Tibetan
Wisdom for the Western World. This book resonated with me the most. I
would read the Buddhist prayers every day. One of them was: "I pray for Buddha,
The Enlightened Teacher; I pray for Dharma, The Enlightened Teachings; I Pray
for Sangha, the Spiritual Community. " I had no idea how profoundly this prayer
was going to be answered!
I was absorbed in finding the truth — but, in
general, I was at a loss to know what to do with my life. I was 24-years-old.
I had traveled a lot and gotten hip to the saying, "The grass is always greener
on the other side of the fence." I had fulfilled a number of personal ambitions.
But nothing was ultimately satisfactory. I had lost the drive to explore new things,
as I knew whatever I did was not going to fulfill me for very long.
time for a major life-change. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in the
local pub, numbing my senses, so I decided to check out being a Buddhist, maybe
even a monk. I liked the idea of a quiet life in the country, meditating myself
into enlightenment. So I visualized meeting a Buddhist monk, so that I could ask
him what that kind of life would involve.
I lived in the country, a mile
from a small village, and a long way from the nearest town. It was rare for me
to bump into someone new. This fact just emphasizes the mysterious nature of what
was about to occur.
About a week later, an elderly woman named Linda who
lived in the house next door did something most unexpected when she saw me. She
put her hands together in the traditional greeting of India, bowed, and said,
"I think you share the same Guru as my friend in London." I did not know what
to say to this! I had never mentioned to anyone that I was looking for a spiritual
teacher. Needless to say, I was completely surprised and intrigued.
following week, Linda mentioned that one of her friends from London was coming
to pay her a visit. She asked me if I could show him some of the picturesque walks
in the surrounding area. I was happy to oblige. I did not ask her, but I was curious
if her friend was the same person she had mentioned a week earlier.
more weeks passed, and then one afternoon I heard a car drive up to the cottage.
It was Linda's friend. He introduced himself as Jonathan. Linda was not around
at the time to greet him, so I invited him in for a cup of tea. As he came in,
he saw the book about Tibetan Buddhism on the armchair. He told me that he practiced
a self-transcending yoga and was the devotee of a Guru.
By this time, it
was obvious to me that he was the "Buddhist monk" I had been praying for. I asked
him a lot of questions, and his understanding of things was very clarifying regarding
all the intuitions I had had about the Divine Being. He was very clear about what
he knew; in fact, I had never met anyone who could speak about spiritual life
with such clarity. He obviously had access to Great Wisdom from his Guru.
gave me a book before leaving, putting it down on the table. I had never seen
a book like it. It was bright. I mean, really bright. Before getting close enough
to take a good look, I spontaneously put my hands up in front of me, palms facing
the book, in what I now know to be the "Gesture
of Beholding" in Adidam. (I had no idea at the time that devotees do this
gesture when they see Adi Da Samraj.) I said, "Wow, now that is a Divine book."
I could feel a very strong energy radiating from the book. It felt Divine.
I did not know it at the time, but the Divine Spiritual Transmission of
Adi Da Samraj was coming through the book. I picked it up. It was definitely not
like any other spiritual book I had ever seen. Everything about it seemed perfect.
I read the front cover. It said, The
Ruchira Avatara Gita (The Way Of The Divine Heart-Master). I did not know
what this meant. Then I read part of the sub-title:
egoless Personal Presence Of Reality and Truth Which Is The Only Real
This made my jaw drop. I could not believe that someone had written
that. It was a perfect explanation of what I had experienced Truth to be. And,
more than that, I recognized this to be a direct communication of Truth. I had
previous experiences, when my heart was open, of hearing truth when someone spoke
it. I could never explain this phenomena very well, but each time I would hear
truth, it would be like magic.
Now, I could feel the Truth of Reality.
It cut through the ego like a hot knife through butter. I was blown away. And
I hadn't even opened the front cover!
Jonathan's visit lasted three days
and each day we would take a walk. He would tell me stories about His Divine Guru,
Adi Da. I read the whole book by Adi Da before Jonathan left. It put my whole
being into conflict.
Adi Da was making a "Divine Self-Confession" that
He was the One Divine Being, or "Real God", and my mind just could not cope with
that fact or believe it. It was too much! Yet my heart recognized what Adi Da
was saying to be True. He was making a direct communication of Truth — not only
on the front cover, but in the entire book! This was more than remarkable.
was beyond anything that I had ever dreamed possible. I had asked God for a teacher
— and He had come Himself! I had to pinch myself a few times during the following
weeks to see if I was dreaming. I walked around with my eyes in the top of my
head. I was blown away by what had occurred.
* * *
mind has learned to cope with this Truth since then — that God is alive in human
form! It took about two years of being a devotee of Adi Da Samraj. I have learned
that it is the heart that hears and sees the Truth, and the mind must be
conformed to the heart, to act with true intelligence and discrimination.
receiving of my Guru was the great moment and gift of my life, and I am very grateful
to be so Blessed.
I'm writing this four years later. Adi Da has Revealed
Himself to me again and again, at a most profound depth of my being that continues
to break my heart wide open. He Is the Heart, Who Is Love-Bliss and Real God.
I pray that everyone has this revelation in their lifetime.
I bow down
to The Divine Heart Master and Divine World-Teacher, the One Divine Being in human
Form, Beloved Avatar Adi Da Love-Ananda Samraj.
story appears in the sections,
Finding Adi Da and
of Adi Da